On Immigration and December Frustration

I can imagine that some of you have had a lot of questions in the past few weeks. I’ve been almost completely out of communication except from a few requests for prayer and random updates about leaving the country temporarily etc. Well and then there was the Facebook announcement about an engagement. Obviously some updates are in order. This is my attempt to clear things up as simply as possible. I probably wont answer all your questions here, I may not even know some of the answers, but I will try and will continue to try over the coming weeks.
Many of you have been aware that the work here has not always been smooth going. Somehow I allowed myself to believe it would be, but then I’m young and naïve and those are both good and bad characteristics to carry with you on the mission field. I can simplify the majority of the struggles of this ministry down to a couple of things for you: first I am a young girl living in a place where women are of little value in the eyes of society despite most of the work falling on their shoulders. Second I am alone making minor difficulties and many tasks more difficult to handle.
Several months ago I moved into the valley. A rural area of Kenya where culture is still running stronger than many in America could imagine and where the opportunities for Godly change are countless. As we’ve covered in past updates I then found that there were issues with the local church I had come to work with which was less than convenient but not a deal breaker. There was much work to be done on a compound that had been abandoned for a decade, a garden to plant, schoolgirls to work with, people to get to know. It was a lot and it was great. I started noticing however that everything was becoming such a difficult process. While I had been assured of volunteers from the local church I received none, until Lorna and Simon, both from villages a fair distance from my own began coming around to help out. Any ideas or requests or changes I mentioned met with a “we’ll talk with the elders about it soon” and little more. I have been confronted various times informing me that I cannot work with ‘the other church’ until they decide to repent and come back to the main-stream church, while weekly having people from ‘the other church’ come by to offer help and friendship. I have struggled with the spiritual side of these issues as well as the cultural and have prayed constantly hoping for resolution and answers all the while struggling with an array of health issues causing me to travel often in and out of the valley.
In the midst of the day-to-day struggle (which, if we’re honest, is to be expected) I met with the elders of the church about the process required for me to find a permanent visa. It is a tedious process involving a complicated hierarchy of the church structure here. I was assured many times, by several levels of said hierarchy that everything was in order and I had nothing to worry about. (Here comes my naivety strong) I let it be at that. When, after another round with doctors I realized my current visa was expiring I rushed to Nairobi to get an extension on the basis that I had an application for a permanent visa on file, I was dumbfounded to hear that no file with my name had ever been opened. Many people were contacted before even more shocking truths of rumors and lies and betrayals started coming out. After several pleas for mercy at the immigration office I was told that I had no option but to exit East Africa by the next day or face a jail stay.
That, is how I found myself in South Africa. I am blessed to have a friend in Nairobi who is a travel agent and was able to credit me a ticket last minute as well as many friends still in SA who were ready and willing to welcome me and my crisis into their homes for however long I needed. (The family I stayed with, and LOVE also happens to have a Doctor for a mom who was able to help me to find some answers for my stomach issues, which have improved drastically.) I stayed for two weeks, praying, crying, debating, watching way too much tv and regaining some of that lost weight. Then it was time to face the music and come back to Kenya.
This is where the engagement comes in, kind of. Part of the rumors I mentioned found their root in my relationship with Steve. In general in Kenya mixed race relationships are not taboo, though outside of the city they are a rare sight as the few white people who travel through are nuns, priests or already married missionary couples. Steve and I have been careful to keep our relationship to ourselves in the Valley as we did not want to offend any cultural ideals (our idea of courtship in any form is not accepted in the rural tribes of Kenya and even the most progressive of couples have probably not spoken to one another alone more than a few times, and this in secret). Somehow, however, we found that information about our relationship was leaked to the elders and to keep safe Steve stayed in Eldoret and did not come down to the valley again after finishing a week of painting and gardening. For completely unique circumstances surrounding Steve and myself we have faced struggles throughout our relationship. We have been told that we mustn’t be together for any reason, we have been told that if we are truly interested in one another we would just get married, we have had people meeting about us, talking about us, fighting for us and against us from the beginning and through all of this we’ve had to try and decipher the truth about our personal feelings and plans. (In all honesty there is no time when a white person in Kenya can claim any sort of privacy and you can imagine how difficult that can be.)
During my trip to SA I was forced to think clearly about my relationship with Steve and where it was going. We couldn’t just keep fighting as it was wearing both of us down and causing not a little sin in the lives of our brothers who seem bent on vicious rumors, and ourselves who were becoming quite bitter. I realized that this man has stood by me through incredibly tough times, supported me in my dreams no matter how big, dealt with all kinds of my crazy, risked his privacy and reputation to be by my side and that I had no reason, other than those purely selfish reasons of a girl who loves her freedom, not to marry him (note: he’s been waiting for me to realize this for about a year now.) I like to tell people that Steve got the ‘hero factor.’ He came along when I was alone and overwhelmed and just starting to see the depth of the complications in this country. He made me laugh and trust and when I just couldn’t keep going he prayed with me and spoke from a faith that I struggle to match. He’s taught me about culture, language, washing clothes by hand and so much more. He’s my hero, all right. So when I got back to Kenya and mentioned that if the ministry in Kenya was going to continue at all I couldn’t continue to do it alone, I wasn’t exactly surprised to find that he’d brought a ring in his pocket… turns out he had been thinking the same thing.
So, now I’m still in Kenya. It was close there for a while… and there are still days when if I had a ticket in my hand I’m sure I’d be on a plane. We’re working on different ways of getting a visa, as well as a new definition of partnership with the church in Liter. I’ve contacted some people who are trying to help and we are desperately trying and praying that this work can continue. We still hope to open the workshop in January providing that the finances pull through (the impromptu holiday put a kink in the finances and left me praising God once again for amazing supportive parents, obviously being young has its perks on the field too!) and the details can be ironed out with the people of Liter. If there are problems still, we will reevaluate and take things one-step at a time.
For December I am in Eldoret mostly. Mwangi is home from school and is enjoying his new bicycle he received for becoming number 2 of 29 in his class. It’s hard to imagine that only a year ago he was number 29 himself and struggling. He has been a blessing, and a lot of work. He wants so desperately to be grown even in 4th grade, and I’m not grown enough yet for him to start so soon. Pray for him and for the other children on the streets we have built relationships with but haven’t been able yet to relocate. Meli, who I sponsor in nursery school graduated baby class as number three after only half the year… she’s a prodigy and more westernized everyday thanks to her auntie Chatty. Lorna’s two youngest girls will start a new nursery school run by the catholic sisters as one of them has recently failed class 1 for the third time and we are very concerned for her progress. Pray for better schools and teachers in the Valley area. It is something that we hope to work on in the future should our work in the valley continue successfully.
I apologize for the lack of communication. With everything going on I appreciate your concern and your patience. I hope you have all had an amazing Christmas and are looking forward to a 2011 of breakthroughs… I know I am.