I remember when 25 seems old. Not like, gray hair and wrinkles old, but the kind of old where everyone has to consider you an adult and you obviously know what’s going on in your life.. that kind of old. Now, the more I think about it, the younger 25 feels.
At this point in my life I feel more of a need for guidance from my elders than ever before, and feel less confidence in my ability to plan my life on my own. The past few months God has humbled me in a way that I never would have imagined. I now know that at 25, I know nothing more than His love, I have nothing more than His mercy, I am nothing without Him period and I was silly to ever forget that in the first place.
I have truly had a blessed life in the Lord. Its easy in difficult times to forget every blessing and every promise and focus solely on the doubts, questions and difficulties. But I can’t do that. Not if I want to live in wisdom and truth.
This is the 4th country I’ve spent a birthday in. And in each of those, and a couple more, I have been blessed with the opportunity to show the love of God to people through his Word and my life. In several of those I have seen lives changed and in all of them I have seen God change my life. Even in Kenya the effects of the Love of God are visible. So maybe the workshop hasn’t opened, but Mwangi is in school and off the streets (as well as 5 other children who are in school thanks to our funding), maybe the location didn’t work out for the ministry, but I have spoken to young guys and girls around the country about the call to follow Christ and about the freedom that they have from the bonds of harmful cultural practices. Maybe the culture has taken a toll on my heart and making friends has been a struggle, but I am celebrating today with a wonderful fiance and a handful of people that I truly care for and who bless my spirit. Maybe I got terribly sick and almost died (or at least they say so) but hey.. I’m down several sizes and we all know that’s nothing to complain about! haha
What I’m trying to say I guess is it hasn’t been a waste… none of the past 25 years has been. I may never comprehend the effect that my being in Kenya has had on the people around me but I am continually growing in the understanding of how it has changed me and how God, in His unexplainable love is perfecting me and working in my to bring Himself glory… and that’s the best birthday present I can think of.
the birthday blog
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This is your birthday sooonnnng it doesn’t last that lonnnnnng HEY! and on a mor serious note….maybe beginning to learn the wisdom of humility is what makes us older at 25…our youthful pride is being washed away…or pounded out of us….and as we get older there is less and less left of US to combat with HIM. Or at least i hope that’s whats happening with us.
love you, and i’m glad you were born…and glad you didn’t die.
I turned 25 the day before you did and I can honestly tell you, I’m right there with you. The comment “At this point in my life I feel more of a need for guidance from my elders than ever before, and feel less confidence in my ability to plan my life on my own.” rings so true with me right now. God’s teaching me His love, His faithfulness, His provision. I didn’t think my life would be what it is right now, but that’s okay because I’m where God wants me. I may have chosen a few options that aren’t His BEST for me, but He is faithful to me. He love me. He’s providing for me. I am learning to rest in Him.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It’s good to see I’m not alone in the 25 year-old “what am I doing with my life???” mode.