Fun Facts about Kenya

During Omar’s recent visit with us here in Kenya I realized that I give very few updates about Kenya in general. Technically I give very few updates period, but it might be worth it to put together some fun facts about Kenya and life there… fun may or may not be sarcastic. **(note here that these facts do not apply in most cases to Nairobi… so if you’re an urban Kenyan, don’t start arguing.)
1. Kenya has its own version of English. Its true that English is one of the official languages of the country and all of the education and examination are done in English but trust me, its different. The typical American will find themselves within the first month starting to adapt their own English to that of the Kenyans around them. For an outside observer it sounds rude (as Omar accused me of being :p) to speak to people on this level but if you’ve been here a while you know its completely necessary. While mostly, Kenyan English means little more than slowing down drastically and over enunciating everything, I’ve put together a few specific examples that I enjoy.
a. The ‘Me-I’ clarification. Most Kenyans rarely start a statement about themselves with only one personal pronoun. You hear very often such sentences as “Me, I am going to the store.” “Me I would like to speak with you.” “Me I don’t know.” And yes… eventually its contagious.
b. The dropping of the ‘er.’ True to their British heritage the American ‘er’ sound does not register with the people here. I once asked my 11th grade English class for ten minutes straight who the protagonist received a letter from in the book we read. After ten minutes I finally started picking up on their whispers and got a quick answer to my question when I restated it thus: “From whom did the protagonist receive a LETA in the story?” Lets not even talk about ordering water in English… just use the Swahili word!
c. Omar’s favorite: Juice. This word, in Kenyan English, is pronounced ju-ee-s.
d. Add a plethora of vocabulary words from the brits like: Tarmac (paved road) Lorry (big truck) Hotel (restaurant) paper bag (plastic bag) Friend (significant other) etc and you may start being proficient in the language that is Kenyan English!
2. Kenyans love committees. I’m told they get this from their colonizers as well. I’m not sure. Everything in Kenya requires a committee. For example, Steve’s brother is planning a wedding. There is a committee of people who will do the fundraising, planning and delegating for the wedding. At least that’s what they are supposed to do. What they mostly do, at least as far as I can tell, is cut budget, complain, question, and re organize the committee. At the church in the valley I soon found that the committee for the clinic, school, compound, Sunday morning program and many others are comprised of the same 5 people in every committee… but yet they mention each committee separately when called for. As a strongly independent personality I find it incredibly irritating 96% of the time.
3. If you are at all acquainted with the world of foreign aid or development you’ll know that its as trend following as the American Church. Every decade or so we come up with a new way to correctly aid and develop and spread it as far and wide as we possibly can (although we still, at least on paper, claim that there is no single way to reach all the various needs around the world.) The current trend is micro finance and people are promoting it like there has never been a better idea. Let alone the fact that many of the areas we are trying to promote have less of a cash economy than would be required to sustain the businesses built by micro-loans, or that the people we have marked as needy have found their own way to turn micro-finance into a business itself (small loan, big interest, big guys to collect etc) that is what we’re selling around the world today. Kenya however is stuck in the era of ‘let the people develop themselves on our dime.’ Nearly, very nearly, everyday I am met on the street, in the church or at lunch by another Kenyan who ‘has a proposal to share with me’ it’s always ‘a wonderful idea to really help the people of Africa if only I could fund it.’ When I remind them that I’m on my own project, which is already usually below budget I am asked for my American contacts so that they may be asked to chip in. When that fails, I’m asked for a job, or at least a small loan to pay for … whatever. It is baffling the number of requests I get for money everyday; both for legitimate and not so legit needs. It is also alarming how the people who are seen with me on a regular basis get asked for money and accused of selfishness for not sharing the millions of dollars the white girl is giving them.
4. The vast majority of Kenyans, even in the towns, do not use electric stoves as we are so accustomed in the states. While more well-to-do families will use a gas stove top (I cherish mine!) most everyone uses either firewood in a pit stove made of clay, or a small charcoal stove. The second option is tediously slow and the first alarmingly fast… but once you learn the timing of the, oh, 4 dishes that are staples in Kenya, you don’t really have much to worry about. That’s right 4. When asked about the food in Kenya only one word comes to mind: repetitive. These people survive on a daily menu that hardly ever varies away from this: Breakfast-Chai and bread. Lunch-Githeri (a mixture of corn and beans) Supper- Ugali (corn flour paste/cake) and kale, maybe alternating to meat one night a week. When going out for a meal they rarely ever look to anything other than Fries (they have little option) on a medium budget add a sausage, if you’re going all out as a chicken leg and you’re in heaven. The redundancy is good for one thing- a diet. After so many days of the same menu, your appetite is amazingly decreased without any kind of pills!
5. Sad observation ahead. The majority of Kenyans (and they will admit this about one another- though never about themselves, everyone is an exception) They have an incredibly jealous culture. They abhor the idea of anyone succeeding or doing well and they will do anything (almost literally) to put that person back in their place. Anything from guilt tactics, to lying, spreading rumors, stealing even physical violence can and has been utilized, and I’ve witnessed it all in my time here. I’m sure that this is not a trait specific to Kenya, however I have never seen it be so blatant and obvious before both inside and outside of family, friendships and even the church.
I’m sure there are many more observations to be made about Kenya and the life here and I’ll try to think of them from time to time. Till then, if you’re really interested in the culture where I live… Welcome for a visit!

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